Justice

Valentine’s Day: Love Not Pain

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  Dinner reservations have been made and the night will bring flowers, candy, and cards.  For some women however, the dinner will be thrown to the floor in anger, cards will be ripped to pieces, and nothing sweet will pass their lips.  For them, the night means walking on egg shells in fear and fists driven into her chest and back.  For some, the one they love, the one they call husband, boyfriend, or partner is the one who inflicts the most pain.  Pain borne out of insecurity.  Pain borne out of misplaced blame.  Pain borne out of pure evil.  Love is not supposed to hurt.  But the chances are you know a woman that is in an abusive relationship and the beatings have become her norm.

Here are the facts:

  • Every 17 minutes, a woman in Canada is sexually assaulted;
  • 1 in 3 women will experience physical, sexual, and/or psychological violence in her lifetime;
  • College age women are three times more likely to experience sexual violence than any other age group; and
  • Domestic violence homicide is one of the leading causes of death among black women 15-35 years of age.

Love is not supposed to hurt.  Love is not supposed to hit.  Love is not supposed to kill.  This is not love.  Sadly, victims often suffer in silence.  They do not tell because they truly love their partners.  They do not tell because they are embarrassed.  They do not tell because leaving may mean loss of financial support.  And they do not tell because they do not want to hand over the person they love to the police.

Using the body of a woman as a punching bag to work out one’s anger is wrong, monstrous, and criminal.  Increasing awareness, knowing the signs of abuse, and providing safe spaces to victims is key.  These statistics no longer need to be our reality.  Our young girls and women deserve more and need our help.  Let’s end this now.  Change the norm.  Know the signs.  Acknowledge the behavior.  Condemn abusers and help the victims.

Be safe,

L.J.

Follow me!
Facebook: @cupidssting
Instagram: @cupidssting
Twitter: @Cupids_Sting

#lauriesamuel #crimedoc #valentinesday #2020 #love #notpain #domesticviolence #violenceagainstwomen #genderbasedviolence #awareness #prevention #reduction #cupidssting #nonprofit #resources #safety #DC #Toronto #GTA #Brampton #PeelRegion #Antigua #Caribbean #womensissues #globalissues

Dr. L.J. Samuel is an Author and Criminologist working in Washington, DC, Toronto, ON, and St. John’s, Antigua.  She is the founder of the non-profit Cupid’s Sting where she teaches women live-saving skills to reduce their potential victimization.  She may be reached at info@cupidssting.org.

Assaulted Women’s Helpline 1-866-863-0511

The National Domestic Violence Hotline may be reached at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

References

Jones, F.  (2014).  Why black women struggle more with domestic violence.  Time.  Retrieved from http://time.com/3313343/ray-rice-black-women-domestic-violence/.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  (2014).  Domestic violence fact sheet.
Colorado: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Photo by: Sydney Sims, Unsplash.com

Love is not supposed to hurt

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

Image result for domestic violence in black community

Today is Valentine’s Day.  Dinner reservations have been made and the night will bring flowers, candy, and cards.  For some women however, the dinner will be thrown to the floor in anger, cards will be ripped to pieces, and nothing sweet will pass her lips.  For them, the night means walking on egg shells in fear and fists driven into her chest and back.  For some, the one they love, the one they call husband, boyfriend, or partner is the one who inflicts the most pain.  Pain borne out of insecurity.  Pain borne out of misplaced blame.  Pain borne out of pure evil.  Love is not supposed to hurt.  But the chances are you know a woman that is in an abusive relationship and the beatings have become her norm.

Like many crimes, blacks are disproportionately represented as victims of domestic violence and intimate partner violence.  Black women are 35% more likely to be victimized by a partner than white women (NCADV, 2017).  Black women are also three times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner.  Among black women ages15-35, domestic violence homicide is one of the leading causes of death.  Love is not supposed to hurt.  Love is not supposed to hit.  Love is not supposed to kill.  This is not love.  Sadly, these victims often suffer in silence.  They do not tell because they truly love their partners.  They do not tell because they are embarrassed.  They do not tell because leaving may mean loss of financial support.  And they do not tell because they do not want to hand their man over to the police, an institution that has historically brutalized black men.

Domestic violence and intimate partner violence is such a complex issue that often those on the periphery resort to victim blaming.  Further in some communities of color this phenomenon is normalized with abusers given a pass.  This behavior is not normal.  Using the body of a woman as a punching bag to work out one’s anger is wrong, monstrous, and criminal.  The black community needs to confront this issue and bring it out into the open.  Increasing awareness, knowing the signs of abuse, and providing access to resources for victims and their support system are key.  These statistics no longer need to be our reality.  Our young girls and women deserve more and need our help.  Let’s end this now.  Change the norm.  Know the signs.  Acknowledge the behavior.  Condemn abusers and help the victims.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213/@Cupids_Sting
Follow me on Instagram: @cupidssting

#ValentinesDay #love #hurt #domesticviolence #intimatepartner #violence #EndDV #abuse #violenceagainstwomen #endthisnow #crime #justice #support #knowthesigns #help #protectourgirls #protectourwomen #cupidssting #nonprofit #MeToo #TimesUp #LaurieSamuel #crimedoc

The National Domestic Violence Hotline may be reached at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

References

Jones, F.  (2014).  Why black women struggle more with domestic violence.  Time.  Retrieved from http://time.com/3313343/ray-rice-black-women-domestic-violence/.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  (2014).  Domestic violence fact sheet.
Colorado: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

 

Where are We Now? Remembering the Last Publicized Lynching in America

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

1981-lynching-of-michael-donald

Greetings all and welcome to the first blog of 2017 for the You Have the Right to Remain Informed.  The United States is getting ready to embark on a major transformation with the change of the Presidential Administration.  Today’s post features guest blogger Tammy Holt who shares a very personal story from her childhood in the Deep South.  Pay attention as we cannot allow history to repeat itself.

—

This has been a story hidden deeply in my memory bank since I was a little girl.  I remember living in Mobile, Alabama, and being told I could not go outside because a man’s body was hanging from a tree.  Of course, I blocked it out, but I always wondered was it really true or was it something that I remembered ‘incorrectly’, or did I dream it?

We stayed off Dearborn Street, a few streets over from Herndon.  The long story short is this young man was killed and hung by the KKK.  The KKK was mad that another black man was not convicted of killing a white police officer (the case was a mistrial).  So, in retaliation of the verdict, the KKK saw Michael Donald (I never knew his name) on the street, kidnapped, hung and cut his throat.  A gruesome murder.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Michael_Donald

This ties into current day news with Senator Sessions and his hearings for Attorney General.  He was on the team for the prosecuting attorney’s office back then.  I was reading up on all the issues surrounding him and his racial comments and found his connection to this case.  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2016/12/02/jeff-sessionss-comments-on-race-for-the-record/?utm_term=.c6bcb8471c8d

In that Washington Post article (to give you the down and dirty), Sessions went all the way around and back again, saying he said some things, didn’t say others, said some things were taken out of context…yadda, yadda, yadda….my final opinion:  it’s between him and God.

But, I just wanted to share this information…you just never know how things in our lives will come full circle or how the news applies directly (or indirectly) to us.  I’m glad I can put some closure on this memory, but angered by the evil in this world.

—

I thank Tammy for having the courage to share her story and I leave you with this brief thought.  If the aim is to make America great again, does that mean that we have to go back to times such as these to achieve that goal?  I truly hope not.  As my friend Tammy has said before, “to be great, you have to be a servant.”  Thus, it is our hope and prayer that Sessions and the rest of new Administration will serve all people remembering equity and fairness.  As when you do right, we all benefit, grow, and evolve in the greatness God intended for us.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213
Check out what’s new in 2017 at www.ljsamuel.com

#race #racism #raceinamerica #1981 #lynching #MichaelDonald #Alabama #deepsouth #hate #love #black #white #civilrights #trial #Senator #JeffSessions #fear #light #healing #change #makeamericagreat #administration #crime #violence #criminals #justice #criminaljusticesystem #courtsystem #2017 #ljsamuel #cupidssting

Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/MetaRonin/black-history-americas-biggest-secret/

 

 

Where do we go from here?

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

image

(Source: Lorena O’Neal, http://www.esquire.com)

I am a black woman. I love my black men. But that does not mean I hate white men or Asian women, or Latino men. Another label I wear is criminologist. I study crime, I work with the police, I seek justice when there is wrongdoing. So I am grappling with how to articulate my feelings over the events of the past two days. Numb? So much sadness. Over what? Hate. At first I thought that race was the underlying factor but I’m not so sure anymore. We have gotten to a point where we no longer respect human life no matter the outer shell. One act does not condone another. Are we not better than that? We have to be. Or is this the beginning of our own self aniliation?

I know some are going to argue that this is history repeating itself but the Lord says “vengeance is mine.” Therefore, it is not ours. To cheer the murder or five Dallas police officers who were simply doing their job is shameless. Not one of them was responsible for taking the life of Alton Sterling or Philando Castile.  I get it. There is a feeling of helplessness but how can this be a solution? A violent response will only increase the violence directed at the very group you mourn for. This is not the way. We are all hurting. Deeply. A generational hurt. But black people are a resilient people so we must figure out a way (yes we have been here before) to heal and figure out a solution that goes beyond DOJ canned responses that breaks through the blue barrier where a respect and appreciation for all life is the starting point of where the police operate from. If not, there will be more death, more violence, more hate, more crying, more arguing, and no change.  And we will continue on this hamster wheel of violence, death, and destruction.

Be safe,

L.J.

Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#police #policeviolence #policeshootings #blackmen #AltonSterling #PhilandoCastile #Louisiana #Minnesota #policeaccountabilty #policereform #peace #protest #DallasPolice #peacefulprotest #blacklivesmatter #bluelivesmatter #alllivesmatter #hope #change #love

Real Talk on Domestic Violence

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

image

Chances are you know someone that has been abused. Chances are you have seen a couple argue in public.  Chances are someone has put their hands on you, shoved you, or spoken to you in a loud, harsh, demeaning manner that could only be described as verbal abuse.  However you define it, it is all abuse.  And we need to do something about it. Females are being victimized younger and younger as they enter the dating world earlier, some as early as middle school.  We do not need anymore violence against women and we do not need any more killings at the hands of an intimate partner.

On Wednesday, March 23, 2016, there will be a discussion on this very issue at Shaw Library in Washington, DC.  This is a free community event so come out and lend your ear and contribute on ways to combat this crime and social disease.  Bring a friend or bring a young lady new to dating or bring an older woman who is more seasoned.  We need you all there!

There will be a social hour with refreshments and an opportunity to network with other women.  Please RSVP at bit.ly/1QDK4eC

Be safe,

L.J.

Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#domestic violence #dating #violence #onlinedating #singles #singlewomen #singlepeople #DC #DMV #DCdatingscene #WomensHistoryMonth #crime #justice #solutions #dontblamethevictim #ljsamuel #deardiary