Incarcerated Fathers

Prison Bars

Children who have parents that have been incarcerated are five times more likely to spend time in prison when they become adults compared to children who have never had an incarcerated parent (Urban Institute, 2003).

Crime is leveling out in the United States yet there are scores of people still being warehoused in prisons across the country.  The majority of these prisoners are parents.  The incarceration of a father has a devastating impact on the family unit, namely because of the huge financial loss.  Furthermore, when daddies are locked up, there is a strain on spousal relationships, a disruption in the parent-child relationship, and the loss of a ‘father figure.’  Using an excerpt from an interview of a father returning from prison, this post looks at the impact of incarceration on the family unit and its resulting financial, emotional, psychological, social, and community costs.

The subject of this interview was imprisoned for armed robbery.  When he entered prison, he had two young boys, aged 3 and 5 and spent a total of 10 years in prison for his crime.  The following is an excerpt from the interview:

Samuel: What were your experiences and those of your family?

Subject Father: “I was more distant from my family. As time went on, there was less communication with me and more negative thoughts placed in my kids’ heads.”

Samuel: What changes did your family go through?

Subject Father: “They found themselves going to foreclosure and eventually lost the house.  From that point they wandered from family and friends and in and out of different apartments.  My kids developed discipline problems at home and at school.  When I came home, they were more belligerent and they would not listen to me.  I found the relationship with my kids to be distant.  Not what it was before I left.  My wife caught the attention of other men while I was locked up and we eventually separated and divorced.”

Samuel: Did you maintain ties with your family while you were locked up?

Subject Father: “Yes, mainly through letters and phone calls.  The kids were too young to read.  I had three visits from my family while I was in prison.  My kids’ mother was more supportive in the beginning but as time went on, we became more distant.

Samuel: What other changes did you experience?

Subject Father: “When I came home, there were a lot of changes.  I had to re-adapt to society and find other support through friends to help financially and mentally to make change.  I had to re-invent myself.  I got my CDL license in order to find another job and get in the workforce.  On prison, you don’t want to be there because a lot of things that happen in prison stay in prison.  You have to re-adapt to a whole other type of society in prison.  There are things you should do and not do and I would never want my kids to experience that.  Never!”

While this is only one illustration of what happens to a family unit when a father is locked up for several years, our subject father’s story is commonplace among communities and cities in this country.  There is no arguing the fact that if someone commits a crime they should be held accountable but the resulting impacting on children and families cannot be ignored.  And the sad fact is that one’s criminal act is often the spark that ignites the never-ending cycle of poverty, unemployment, substance abuse, and crime.  I just hope the future is brighter than the past and present situation.

Be safe,

L.J. Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#incarceratedfathers #incarceration #prison #crime #justice #cycle #poverty #delinquency #family #fatherfigure #future #hope

 References

Samuel, L. (2004). Family issues: The impact of an incarcerated father on the family unit (Unpublished paper). Howard University, Washington, DC.

Travis, J., McBride, E., & Solomon, A. (2003). Families left behind: The hidden costs of incarceration and reentry. Washington, DC: The Urban Institute.

Image source: imgkid.com

System Failure

What do you do when the system fails a young, poor girl? Who is to blame? What is the remedy for the cycle of poverty?

Meet Jordan.  She is 15 years old and in the seventh grade.  From the start of her life, Jordan was doomed.  When Jordan’s mom was pregnant with her, she smoke and drank almost every day.  In an interview, Jordan’s mom admitted to a daily consumption of 14 beers and at least one pack of cigarettes.  Jordan was the sixth child born to her 31-year-old mother.

Jordan came from meager beginnings. Both her mother and father have criminal records and her two older brothers are in prison for murder. Jordan grew up in a one bedroom apartment with eight other people in a rough neighborhood in Washington, DC. As the only girl, she really had to fend for herself. She started getting into trouble in kindergarten where she was suspended several times for fighting. She had a hard time paying attention at school and grasping simple concepts so she lashed out as a way of coping. Perhaps the substances her mother consumed while she was in the womb coupled with the social environment she was being reared in contributed to this behavior? When she came home from school, no one was there to read to her, go over her colors, or teach her to count.

Jordan survived off of potato chips, cereal, and orange soda.  When she went to middle school, she was held back- twice.  She fought any and every one because that’s all she was good at.  When she was 13 years old, she took money out of her teacher’s purse because her mom never gave her money for bus fare.  But she got caught and was arrested and so began her life of crime.  Her older brother accompanied her to court and told her what to say to her public defender.  And even though this was her first offense, she received three months’ probation.  She had to comply with the conditions such as staying out of trouble, going to school, getting good grades, and meeting with her probation officer but she did none of that because she was accountable to no one and no one was accountable to her.

So, here we have Jordan.  She was forced to grow up too soon.  She hangs out with the guys in the neighborhood during school hours because they take care of her. Besides, she doesn’t have time for school because soon Jordan is going to be a mother.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#systemfailure #cycleofpoverty #crime #justice

Note: names changed to protect identity of subjects.

Love

VD Heart

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Hopefully someone shows you love and appreciation every day.  Remember love should not hurt.  If it doesn’t feel right, it is ok to walk away.  Love should be kind.  Love should make you happy.  Love is not perfect but your smiles, laughter, and good times should outweigh the tears and pain.  God has shown true love and He would never want you to be beat, battered, and abused.  Quite the opposite.  You should be placed on a pedestal for as women, we are love, birth love, and nurture love throughout time.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#love #female #empowerment #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary

 

 

Like a Girl

Always debuted their #LIKEAGIRL campaign during Super Bowl XLIX February 1st, 2015 by airing an ad featuring young girls, women, boys, and men performing various tasks when prompted by the off screen interviewer.  For example, they were asked to run like a girl or to fight like a girl.  I find it interesting that Always chose to introduce this campaign during one of the biggest and most popular sporting events.  Football is a hyper-masculine sport where no player ‘runs’ or ‘hits’ like a girl. Unfortunately, sometimes what players are taught on the field carries over into their daily life.  Given the tumultuous year the National Football League (NFL) has had with domestic violence, perhaps Always wanted to remind viewers and consumers that women still matter. What you were left with at the end of the commercial was a well-played dichotomy. But I shall take it a step further. Men don’t hit like a girl, so they should never hit a girl, young lady, or woman. We all need to find other ways to deal with conflict. Let’s use our words and not our fists.

It is a known fact that modern women are more educated, they are strong, independent, and they make their own money.  But they are still women.  So if a man is not secure enough to handle a strong woman, then leave her alone.  Do not take your insecurities out on her.  Do not belittle her because you don’t have a university degree.  Don’t make negative comments about items she buys just because you may not be able to afford the same luxuries.  Bottom line: don’t mishandle her because she feels like a girl, bruises like a girl, and bleeds like a girl.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#LIKEAGIRL #Always #SuperBowl #NFL #strength #peace #love #female #empowerment #personalsafety #domesticviolence #spousalabuse #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary

Courage

I was in the women’s locker room at my gym this past Saturday talking to a friend about my book.  I was describing the storyline, a domestic violence homicide, when something interesting happened.  Several other women in the locker room started listening and actually came over to hear what we were talking about.  As my friend and I chatted they started sharing their own experiences.  It was completely organic and unscripted.  I was floored that these women, who were strangers to me, were so willing to discuss such a personal part of their life with me.  There is something therapeutic about disclosure.  It truly is a part of the healing process.  Some of the women were able to speak candidly as the abuse occurred decades ago while others still had raw, fresh emotions.  Wherever they were in their lives, there seemed to be a common bond that created a small community right there in the locker room.  It became a safe place fueled by strength as they were able to break free from their abusers and are now living fulfilling lives filled with peace instead of violence.

So I leave you with this- forgiveness is bliss so forgive yourself first.  This experience does not make you you a bad person nor does it define you. You got out because you are courageous. Remember, God does not make mistakes. You are beautiful through and through. So let that light shine for someone who is truly deserving of your love and who recognizes what a treasure you are. Teach your sons, daughters, friends, and neighbors what self-worth really is so that we can break this cycle of violence and everyone regardless of space or place can be safe in their homes.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#strength #courage #peace #love #female #empowerment #community #forgiveness #personalsafety #domesticviolence #spousalabuse #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary