Victim

No Where is Safe

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

On Sunday, November 19, 2017 a young woman in Washington, DC was sexually assaulted by a man she thought was an Uber driver.  She was out with friends and flagged down a car with an Uber sticker so she could be taken home.  It turns out that the driver had been let go from Uber but was still driving around the city giving the impression that he was a full-fledged driver.  After the young woman and her friend were picked up, they were driven to the campus of American University where at some point, her friend got out.  The driver then circled around the campus and parked in a remote lot and raped the female passenger.  He then drove her to her dorm and dropped her off.  The female student then reported the incident to campus police who have video footage of the car with the Uber sticker prominently displayed driving around the campus.

No where is safe.  Not work, the gym, Capitol Hill, the spa, nor an Uber.  Why does this continue to happen?  Why do men continue to use the female body for their pleasure with total disregard for how their abusive actions and behavior will scar her.

This past summer, I experienced an unsettling situation with an Uber driver.  After being picked up in front of my home he immediately started asking me personal questions and staring at me through the rear view mirror.  I knew he was jerk and was trying to come on to me.  The driver was so distracted by looking at me in the mirror that he missed the turn to take me to my destination.  I told him to pull over as I was terminating the ride and as soon as I was safe, I jumped out of the car.  Prior to that however, I shared the driver information with my husband and a girlfriend and texted both about how strange the driver was acting.  The harassment is real.  It can happen anywhere.  But you have to take steps to protect yourself.  Always let people know where you are going.  If you do not show up at a designated time then at least they can back track your steps with information such as the car, plate, driver, etc.  And if you feel uncomfortable in a situation, DO NOT push that feeling away.  It means something is not right and you do not have to compromise your safety for anyone.  Be aware of your surroundings and be aware of people- known and unknown as unfortunately not everyone is your friend.  We are living in a different time.  The experiences of harassment, abuse, and misconduct faced by women are not new but now it is out in the open and it will no longer be swept under the rug.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @Cupids_Sting
Follow me on Instagram: @cupidssting

#Uber #sexualassault #rape #Washington #DC #AmericanUniversity #harassment #sexualharassment #sexualmisconduct #abuse #violenceagainstwomen #nomeansno #thisendsnow #endthisnow #crime #justice #selfdefense #protectyourself #beproactive #cupidssting #ljsamuel #MeToo

 

References

NBC Washington.  (2017, November 20).  ‘Fake’ Uber driver accused of raping DC student is released.  News4.  Retrieved from http://www.nbcwashington.com.

 

 

 

The Truth about Domestic Violence

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

dv-threat-picture

(Source: http://www.havenhousefsc.com)

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), approximately 33% of women have been victims of domestic violence.  This figure is misleading as it is based on official reports.  Many victims do not come forward for fear of greater violence.   If the 33% figure does not resonate with you, let me put it this way- your sister, mother, friend, cousin, co-worker, mentor, teacher, or loved one has probably been abused at some point in her life.  She has been pushed, punched, slapped, yelled at, demeaned, and threatened by the person she calls ‘partner.’  That’s not true, you say?  They would have told you, right?  They didn’t even tell the police.

After the smoke cleared, they picked themselves up off the floor and washed the tears off their face, put peroxide on their wounds, left a message for their boss to let them know they would not be at work the next day, then proceeded to make their abuser dinner so that he would not get angry again.

The truth is that this crime is being perpetrated in households all across the United States.  Domestic violence does not discriminate.  Whether you live in the most expensive house or public housing, violence may very well knock at your door.  Rich or poor, black or white, Christian or Muslim, gay or straight, domestic violence knows no bounds.  And so the victim puts on her mask and follows her script as society expects her to do.

For those of us on the outside, we think that if we were ever violated by a husband, boyfriend, or partner, we would never stay.  I can just hear it now.  “Girl, if he ever puts his hands on me, that’s it!  I’m walking away!”  Easier said than done.  Many women do not walk away.  One must first understand the psyche of victims to understand why.  The reasons are many.  Perhaps she does not have the courage to leave due to low self-esteem.  Maybe she is a stay at home mom and leaving means a loss of financial support and living in a shelter.  Then there are feelings of embarrassment.  Leaving means admitting to the outside world that she failed at her relationship and ‘allowed’ her man to hit her.  Then there is fear.  A large number of abused women are stalked by their partners while they are together and/or after they leave their abuser.  But there is constant fear that their abuser will find them and kill them because they had the courage to leave.  And lastly, there is love.  You loved him enough to stay ‘I do’ or remain in a relationship with him or raise a family together.  These are all extremely complex reasons so we cannot easily judge the actions of victims.  What we can do is support the victim and offer help.  We can increase our awareness of this terrible issue so that we know the signs if a friend or loved one is being victimized.

If a victim is scared to call the police, there are other resources available.  The National Domestic Violence Hotline for example, may be reached at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).  The Centers for Disease Control also has many resources.  Their website is: www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention.

Be a good friend.  Don’t turn your back because you never know when you may need the same.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #domesticviolence #intimatepartnerviolence #violence #stopdv #itendsnow #nomeansno #pain #safety #justice #support #assistance #help #abuse #victim #victimization #truth #police #interpersonalviolence #cupidssting #ljsamuel

References

Barnett, O.W & LaViolette, A.D.  (1993).  It could happen to anyone: Why battered women stay.       Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  (2014).  Understanding intimate partner violence        fact sheet.  Washington, DC: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Follingstad, D., Runge, M., Ace, April, Buzan, Robert, & Helff, Cindy.  (2001).  Justifiability,      sympathy level, and internal/external locus of the reasons battered women remain in abusive      relationships.  Violence and Victims, 16 (6), 621-644.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  (2014).  Domestic violence fact sheet.       Colorado: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Safety Tips

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

Christmas Picture

The holiday season brings a lot of excitement.  Between the shopping, Christmas parties, and family gatherings, it is easy to get distracted. Throw alcohol into the mix and it is easy to see how one may let their guard down as they are out and about.  Slow down and pay attention to what is going on around you.  We can all play a bigger part in reducing victimization and looking less attractive to criminals on the street.

Holiday personal safety tips:

  1. Pay attention to your surroundings.
  2. Walk in well-lit areas.
  3. Scan the street and make a mental note of what and who you see.
  4. Stick to familiar areas.
  5. NEVER walk down the street talking on your cell phone (or listening to music on headphones).
  6. Try to walk with others as there is strength in numbers.
  7. Let friends and loved ones know where you will be.
  8. If you are drinking, ensure that you have a sober friend with you.
  9. If you’re out shopping, try to carry packages in one hand so you have a free hand.
  10. If you’re scared, ask a security officer to walk you to your car. It is ok to ask for help and to put authorities on alert.

Criminals are looking for vulnerabilities. The minute you let your guard down they will pounce.  Pay attention and reduce the distractions so that you can get home safe and enjoy all the fun the holidays have to offer.

As always, be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#personalsafety #safetytips #victimization #victim #crimeprevention #selfdefense #Christmas #ChristmasShopping #holidays #ljsamuel #deardiary

 

 

Women’s Self-Defense

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

IMG_4505  IMG_4483

Oftentimes, we are so busy taking care of others that we neglect ourselves.  Between work, family, grocery shopping, homework, and little sleep, we run ourselves into the ground.  A tired and distracted person is the perfect mark for a criminal.  Reclaim your power by learning how to defend yourself against an attack!

If you live in the Metropolitan Washington, DC area, please join me on May 2nd, 2015 from 4-6 pm for a Women’s Self-Defense class. The class will be held at Results Gym, 315 G Street, SE.  There is plenty of free parking and it is Metro accessible.

Workout like your life depends on it!

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#womensselfdefense #selfdefense #victimization #safety #defense #crime #justice #care #strength #courage #Results #dontbeavictim #ljsamuel #deardiary

Safety at the Pump

~ Laurie Samuel ~ 1 Comment

 Gas station

 You have heard the story before. A woman pulls up to a gas pump and hops out of her car to quickly fill up her gas tank on her way home from work. While pumping her gas, she pulls out her cell phone and sends a quick text to a friend. Then she hops back in her car and reaches for her purse to put her credit card back and notices that it is gone! How could this have happened?

Let’s analyze the scene. The victim in this fictitious scenario made herself an easy target for any thief lurking nearby. To start with, she left the driver’s side window of her car down. Never leave any windows down or unlocked when pumping gas and always take your keys with you. Next, our victim left her purse and valuables on the front passenger seat in plain view. Never leave your wallet, purse, or other items of value in an unlocked car. Lastly, the victim used her cell phone while pumping gas which meant that she was not paying full attention to her surroundings. Limit distractions when at the gas station. You are only there for a few minutes. Minutes that can make the difference between you leaving with everything you came with, or perhaps having to call the police to report stolen valuables, a stolen automobile, or worse an assault on your person.

Online searches reveal countless stories of this offense across the District of Columbia, Maryland, and Virginia. It is a common occurrence locally and across the country. But this type of crime is preventable. The next time you get gas, there is one simple thing you can do to protect your valuables and life so that you are not the next victim. Lock your doors!

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#gaspumpsafety #personalsafety #crimeprevention #crime #ljsamuel #deardiary

Note: Stay tuned for details on Self-Defense Workshop tentatively scheduled for the end of January 2015.

References

American Petroleum Institute. (2014). Staying safe at the pump. American Petroleum Institute. Retrieved from http://www.api.org/oil-and-natural-gas-overview/consumer-information/use-energy-safely/.

National Crime Prevention Council. (2014). Gas station theft prevention. Retrieved from http://www.ncpc.org/topics/home-and-neighborhood-safety/gas-station-theft-prevention.

Zurko, R. (2013, August 8). Sliders at gas stations: Women targeted by sliders while pumping gas. The Examiner. Retrieved from http://www.examiner.com/artice/sliders-at-gas-stations-women-targeted-by-sliders-while-pumping-gas/.