Love

Love

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

VD Heart

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Hopefully someone shows you love and appreciation every day.  Remember love should not hurt.  If it doesn’t feel right, it is ok to walk away.  Love should be kind.  Love should make you happy.  Love is not perfect but your smiles, laughter, and good times should outweigh the tears and pain.  God has shown true love and He would never want you to be beat, battered, and abused.  Quite the opposite.  You should be placed on a pedestal for as women, we are love, birth love, and nurture love throughout time.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#love #female #empowerment #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary

 

 

Like a Girl

~ Laurie Samuel ~ 1 Comment

Always debuted their #LIKEAGIRL campaign during Super Bowl XLIX February 1st, 2015 by airing an ad featuring young girls, women, boys, and men performing various tasks when prompted by the off screen interviewer.  For example, they were asked to run like a girl or to fight like a girl.  I find it interesting that Always chose to introduce this campaign during one of the biggest and most popular sporting events.  Football is a hyper-masculine sport where no player ‘runs’ or ‘hits’ like a girl. Unfortunately, sometimes what players are taught on the field carries over into their daily life.  Given the tumultuous year the National Football League (NFL) has had with domestic violence, perhaps Always wanted to remind viewers and consumers that women still matter. What you were left with at the end of the commercial was a well-played dichotomy. But I shall take it a step further. Men don’t hit like a girl, so they should never hit a girl, young lady, or woman. We all need to find other ways to deal with conflict. Let’s use our words and not our fists.

It is a known fact that modern women are more educated, they are strong, independent, and they make their own money.  But they are still women.  So if a man is not secure enough to handle a strong woman, then leave her alone.  Do not take your insecurities out on her.  Do not belittle her because you don’t have a university degree.  Don’t make negative comments about items she buys just because you may not be able to afford the same luxuries.  Bottom line: don’t mishandle her because she feels like a girl, bruises like a girl, and bleeds like a girl.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#LIKEAGIRL #Always #SuperBowl #NFL #strength #peace #love #female #empowerment #personalsafety #domesticviolence #spousalabuse #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary

Courage

~ Laurie Samuel ~ 5 Comments

I was in the women’s locker room at my gym this past Saturday talking to a friend about my book.  I was describing the storyline, a domestic violence homicide, when something interesting happened.  Several other women in the locker room started listening and actually came over to hear what we were talking about.  As my friend and I chatted they started sharing their own experiences.  It was completely organic and unscripted.  I was floored that these women, who were strangers to me, were so willing to discuss such a personal part of their life with me.  There is something therapeutic about disclosure.  It truly is a part of the healing process.  Some of the women were able to speak candidly as the abuse occurred decades ago while others still had raw, fresh emotions.  Wherever they were in their lives, there seemed to be a common bond that created a small community right there in the locker room.  It became a safe place fueled by strength as they were able to break free from their abusers and are now living fulfilling lives filled with peace instead of violence.

So I leave you with this- forgiveness is bliss so forgive yourself first.  This experience does not make you you a bad person nor does it define you. You got out because you are courageous. Remember, God does not make mistakes. You are beautiful through and through. So let that light shine for someone who is truly deserving of your love and who recognizes what a treasure you are. Teach your sons, daughters, friends, and neighbors what self-worth really is so that we can break this cycle of violence and everyone regardless of space or place can be safe in their homes.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#strength #courage #peace #love #female #empowerment #community #forgiveness #personalsafety #domesticviolence #spousalabuse #crime #justice #ljsamuel #deardiary

Google Him

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

painted-heart
The last couple of weeks I have been debating with my male friends about my girlfriends and I ‘checking out’ guys we meet. After all, when you first meet someone, they always send their representative who is on their best behavior. They always present a perfectly wrapped package that smells good, looks good, speaks eloquently, and really seems to be into you. But how does one really know who a new love interest really is???

Dating has become serious business in the 2000’s. No longer do you solely meet your potential mate in high school, college, law school, church, or through a friend. Technology now plays a major role. First, in how we meet people. And second, in how we learn about the people we meet. Over 41 million people have dabbled in online dating (at least those that will admit it so this number is probably higher). Whether or not this form of dating is successful is debatable. Can one truly go online and find the love of their life, marriage, and the baby carriage? Who knows? But one thing is certain, there are measures one can put in place to protect their safety regardless of how they met someone.

Online dating is a billion dollar industry with over 2500 dating sites in the U.S. alone! You fill out a questionnaire, list your likes, post a picture, and then what? What, if anything, do these sites do to account for the safety of the consumers using their products? Use at your own risk. All I am saying is: be cautious. Whether you meet someone online, at the supermarket, or he helps you pump your gas, be cautious. Your safety is paramount. Love is great, but life is better.

It is interesting, we prepare for everything in our lives but sometimes we neglect the most important areas. We study for a test, practice before a big presentation, exercise before going on a beach vacation, and even floss in preparation for a dental appointment. So, why not in this area too? Information is power. Information is protection. Information is priceless. Google him. When you meet someone, it is ok to Google them. Do a little background first. Find the information that is legally in the public domain. You will be surprised what you find. Look at the pictures, articles, postings, and write-ups. It may not tell you everything but it will give you some insight into the character of the person that could potentially become your husband. Does he take care of his children? Does he really work where he says he told you? Did he go to that Ivy League school he bragged about? Has he ever been arrested for domestic violence? These are important questions and good information to have as unfortunately, love is not blind.

As always~ Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#googlehim #love #dating #onlinedating #personalsafety #crime #justice #crimeprevention #empowerment #ljsamuel #deardiary

Note: Stay tuned for details on Self-Defense Workshop tentatively scheduled for the end of January 2015.

References

Dewey, C. (2014, September 30). Does online dating work? Let’s be honest: We have no idea. The Washington Post. Retrieved from http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2014/09/30/does-online-dating-work-lets-be-honest-we-have-no-idea/

Online Dating Magazine. (2012, March 22). How many online dating sites are there? Retrieved from http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/faq/howmanydatingsitesarethere.html

StatisticBrain.Com. (2013). Online dating statistics. Retrieved from http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/