Washington DC

Valentine’s Day: Love Not Pain

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  Dinner reservations have been made and the night will bring flowers, candy, and cards.  For some women however, the dinner will be thrown to the floor in anger, cards will be ripped to pieces, and nothing sweet will pass their lips.  For them, the night means walking on egg shells in fear and fists driven into her chest and back.  For some, the one they love, the one they call husband, boyfriend, or partner is the one who inflicts the most pain.  Pain borne out of insecurity.  Pain borne out of misplaced blame.  Pain borne out of pure evil.  Love is not supposed to hurt.  But the chances are you know a woman that is in an abusive relationship and the beatings have become her norm.

Here are the facts:

  • Every 17 minutes, a woman in Canada is sexually assaulted;
  • 1 in 3 women will experience physical, sexual, and/or psychological violence in her lifetime;
  • College age women are three times more likely to experience sexual violence than any other age group; and
  • Domestic violence homicide is one of the leading causes of death among black women 15-35 years of age.

Love is not supposed to hurt.  Love is not supposed to hit.  Love is not supposed to kill.  This is not love.  Sadly, victims often suffer in silence.  They do not tell because they truly love their partners.  They do not tell because they are embarrassed.  They do not tell because leaving may mean loss of financial support.  And they do not tell because they do not want to hand over the person they love to the police.

Using the body of a woman as a punching bag to work out one’s anger is wrong, monstrous, and criminal.  Increasing awareness, knowing the signs of abuse, and providing safe spaces to victims is key.  These statistics no longer need to be our reality.  Our young girls and women deserve more and need our help.  Let’s end this now.  Change the norm.  Know the signs.  Acknowledge the behavior.  Condemn abusers and help the victims.

Be safe,

L.J.

Follow me!
Facebook: @cupidssting
Instagram: @cupidssting
Twitter: @Cupids_Sting

#lauriesamuel #crimedoc #valentinesday #2020 #love #notpain #domesticviolence #violenceagainstwomen #genderbasedviolence #awareness #prevention #reduction #cupidssting #nonprofit #resources #safety #DC #Toronto #GTA #Brampton #PeelRegion #Antigua #Caribbean #womensissues #globalissues

Dr. L.J. Samuel is an Author and Criminologist working in Washington, DC, Toronto, ON, and St. John’s, Antigua.  She is the founder of the non-profit Cupid’s Sting where she teaches women live-saving skills to reduce their potential victimization.  She may be reached at info@cupidssting.org.

Assaulted Women’s Helpline 1-866-863-0511

The National Domestic Violence Hotline may be reached at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

References

Jones, F.  (2014).  Why black women struggle more with domestic violence.  Time.  Retrieved from http://time.com/3313343/ray-rice-black-women-domestic-violence/.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  (2014).  Domestic violence fact sheet.
Colorado: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Photo by: Sydney Sims, Unsplash.com

No Where is Safe

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

On Sunday, November 19, 2017 a young woman in Washington, DC was sexually assaulted by a man she thought was an Uber driver.  She was out with friends and flagged down a car with an Uber sticker so she could be taken home.  It turns out that the driver had been let go from Uber but was still driving around the city giving the impression that he was a full-fledged driver.  After the young woman and her friend were picked up, they were driven to the campus of American University where at some point, her friend got out.  The driver then circled around the campus and parked in a remote lot and raped the female passenger.  He then drove her to her dorm and dropped her off.  The female student then reported the incident to campus police who have video footage of the car with the Uber sticker prominently displayed driving around the campus.

No where is safe.  Not work, the gym, Capitol Hill, the spa, nor an Uber.  Why does this continue to happen?  Why do men continue to use the female body for their pleasure with total disregard for how their abusive actions and behavior will scar her.

This past summer, I experienced an unsettling situation with an Uber driver.  After being picked up in front of my home he immediately started asking me personal questions and staring at me through the rear view mirror.  I knew he was jerk and was trying to come on to me.  The driver was so distracted by looking at me in the mirror that he missed the turn to take me to my destination.  I told him to pull over as I was terminating the ride and as soon as I was safe, I jumped out of the car.  Prior to that however, I shared the driver information with my husband and a girlfriend and texted both about how strange the driver was acting.  The harassment is real.  It can happen anywhere.  But you have to take steps to protect yourself.  Always let people know where you are going.  If you do not show up at a designated time then at least they can back track your steps with information such as the car, plate, driver, etc.  And if you feel uncomfortable in a situation, DO NOT push that feeling away.  It means something is not right and you do not have to compromise your safety for anyone.  Be aware of your surroundings and be aware of people- known and unknown as unfortunately not everyone is your friend.  We are living in a different time.  The experiences of harassment, abuse, and misconduct faced by women are not new but now it is out in the open and it will no longer be swept under the rug.

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @Cupids_Sting
Follow me on Instagram: @cupidssting

#Uber #sexualassault #rape #Washington #DC #AmericanUniversity #harassment #sexualharassment #sexualmisconduct #abuse #violenceagainstwomen #nomeansno #thisendsnow #endthisnow #crime #justice #selfdefense #protectyourself #beproactive #cupidssting #ljsamuel #MeToo

 

References

NBC Washington.  (2017, November 20).  ‘Fake’ Uber driver accused of raping DC student is released.  News4.  Retrieved from http://www.nbcwashington.com.

 

 

 

New Year, New Things

~ Laurie Samuel ~ Leave a comment

Red black coming soon

Greetings All and Happy New Year! It is January 22nd, I can still say that, right?  This is my first post for 2016.  A new year brings a fresh beginning, blossoming of new ideas, the setting of goals, and an opportunity to hit the ‘reset’ button.  I pray this year brings you all that you hope and dream for.

I want to give everyone a sneak peak of my new project for 2016.  Another book! It is the second in the Samantha Harris Crime Series.  Book two is called Going Rogue.  I thank you all for the support of my first book Dear Diary and pray you will continue to support me as my new baby is rolled out.

Going Rogue

Sam is back and tough as ever!

Samantha Harris is back on the job at the DC Police Department after taking some personal time off after her abusive husband was killed by her partner. Just as she is settling in to resume her old duties, the Chief of Police transfers her to Internal Affairs. Friends and colleagues turn on her, leaving Samantha isolated within her own Department. As she is fighting to get her job back at the helm of Homicide, all hell breaks loose and Samantha is thrust into an investigation of a DC Officer gone rogue. Can she maintain her credibility and prove she is still strong enough to handle the job?

Stay tuned for details!

Be safe,

L.J. Follow me on twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#HappyNewYear #2016 #GoingRogue #DearDiary #LJSamuel #amwriting #amediting #crimefiction #sequel #Amazon #Kindle #crime #justice #police #DCPolice #DC #DMV

Halloween Safety Tips

~ Laurie Samuel ~ 1 Comment

Halloween

It’s that time of year again.  The days are shorter, the leaves are turning brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow and the mornings are crisp and cool.  As fall begins so too does the holiday season.  For those that participate, Halloween is a time for fun and games and to perhaps live out a childhood fantasy through dress and play.  (I still secretly think I’m Wonder Woman, but aren’t all women???)  This week’s post is a quick safety reminder as you prepare for parties, to take the kids out trick-or-treating, and engage in other fun activities.

Tips:

  1. Small children should always be accompanied by a parent or other trusted adult guardian while trick-or-treating.
  2. Older children should travel in a group and should never be out on the street alone.
  3. Avoid placing children in long costumes that may drag on the ground as they may trip and fall.  The costume may also get caught on a curb causing injury.
  4. For costumes that incorporate make-up or a mask, ensure that the eyes are not obstructed.
  5. If possible, wear light colored costumes so that you are easily visible.  Consider placing a light or reflective material on children wearing dark colored costumes so that drivers can see them as they navigate area neighborhoods.
  6. Stay in well-lit areas and on familiar streets.
  7. Let people know where you will be and always carry a cell phone.
  8. Parents and guardians should always inspect their children’s candy before it is consumed and it is best not to eat homemade treats.  Throw away any candy that has been opened, has a hole in it or appears to be tampered with.  If you have any doubts, err on the side of caution and throw it away.  (There have been police reports across the country of authorities uncovering candy laced with ecstasy so you can never be too careful).
  9. For those adults participating in Halloween parties, be mindful of your alcohol consumption.  If you know you’re going to be drinking, use Uber or have a designated driver.
  10. If you’re at a private home, club or other venue, never leave your drink unattended or consume a beverage you are unsure of.  Unfortunately, predators still try to entice victims by placing harmful substances in their drinks.

People tend to let their guard down when they are excited or distracted.  These reminders are simple tips for preventing harm, injury, and victimization.  Have a great time this weekend and as always, be safe!

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#Halloween #October31st #safetytips #tips #crimeprevention #victimization #costume #safety #trickortreat #candy #alcohol #drugs #ecstasy #crime #justice #fall #autumn #ljsamuel #deardiary #DMV #WashingtonDC

References

Centers for Disease Control. (2015). Halloween health & safety tips. Washington, DC: CDC. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/family/halloween/

Cohen, P. (2015, October, 23). Is that candy or Ecstasy? Halloween warnings spook parents. CBS News. Retrieved from http://www.cbsnews.com/news/halloween-warning-is-that-candy-or-ecstasy/

Photo source: http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2013/11/Halloween-Hero-1-A.jpeg

The Papal Effect

~ Laurie Samuel ~ 1 Comment
President Barack Obama shakes hands with Pope Francis after this welcoming speech during the state arrival ceremony on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2015. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)
(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Last week the Pope was in town.  It was sheer Pope Pandemonium.  People adjusted their schedules and lives in the hope of just catching a glimpse of the Holy Father, Pope Francis.  I had the honor and pleasure of seeing Pope Francis’ Pope-mobile and seeing him address the US Congress.  It was truly a blessing. From his arrival on Tuesday, September 22, 2015 to his departure on Thursday, September 24, 2015, a spirit of love had set over the city of Washington.  The City was calm and peaceful.  Everywhere you went people smiled and discussed in excitement their experience of the Papal visit.  There was so much optimism in the air that it felt like there was a shift.  A shift in the way we view each other, a shift in the way we treat each other.  The happiness was infectious.  I thought that perhaps this was the change we needed and the examples provided would lead to healing of some societal hurts such as discrimination, hate, lack of respect, rudeness, and violence.  Unfortunately, that was a utopian desire as once Pope Francis left the United States, the calm dissipated and we all went back to our normal habits. Wouldn’t it be a better and more enjoyable life if we all had mutual respect for one another regardless of religious background, political affiliation, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, whether you like cats or dogs, or sleep upside down?  It should not be that hard. Really.

I wish there was a way to recapture the feeling of last week…

Be safe,

L.J.
Follow me on Twitter: @CrimeDoc1213

#PopeInDC #PapalVisit #WashingtonDC #DC #GoldenRule #peace #calm #respect #kindness #change #reform